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'Do you want a happy ending?' she asked, massaging his back. 'Yes please' he replied. 'OK' she said 'Jon Snow's still alive.' #GameofThrones
'I've been a very bad girl,' she said, biting her lip. 'I need to be punished.' 'Very well,' he said and installed Windows 10 on her laptop.
'Do you have protection?' she asked. 'Of course' he said. 'I've got my Captain America shield and I'm wearing my underpants on the outside.'
'Yes!' he screamed, rigid with pleasure 'Oh yes, that's it . . it's coming . . YES!!' He couldn't believe there was a new Harry Potter book
'I'm your slave tonight,' she said breathlessly, 'I'll do whatever you want.' 'OK' he said, 'You can sort my Lego while I watch Star Wars.'
'Hurt me!' she begged as she bent over his desk. 'All right,' he said, 'Twilight is terrible and Benedict Cumberbatch is married.'
'Ouch!' he cried in pain as her hand swiped right across his face. 'I'm sorry,' she said. 'I thought we were still on Tinder.'
They tried it standing up, sitting down and bent over the kitchen table but it was no good - they just couldn't get a decent wi-fi signal.
She said she was turned on by men who took risks . . . So he took the plastic off his iPhone screen.