25 tweets over seks die je aan het lachen maken

The fastest speed in sex is 68 because once you go 69 you're bound to flip over @GrimsToyShow @Lyricoldrap #sexjoke

— AGuyBehindAScreen (@Pixelgunjoin) January 24, 2016

How hard can it be? #sexjoke

— Abbey Steffens (@abbystffns) September 27, 2015

Boy do I love sex. Really love putting my penis into some *looks at smudged writing on hand* verguba

— ♡Handsome Tweet Guy♡ (@SortaBad) August 5, 2014

We never thought that #HomeHardware would of become one of our competitors #sexjoke pic.twitter.com/7vqhN5WZA9

— Adult Fun Superstore (@AFS_Ott) September 6, 2015

Me: Netflix & chill?
Her: sure
[later that night]
Her: so you don't have Netflix?
Me [pulling out 20 condoms]: I don't have chill either

— David Hughes (@david8hughes) September 15, 2015

{Goes to buy Virgin Airlines ticket}
"Can I buy one even if I've done sex?"
Um. Yes sir
"Cause I have"
Okay
"I've done all of it"
Please go

— Michael (@Home_Halfway) January 8, 2015

"yes I'm very good in bed"
*folds blanket and neatly props up pillow*
*pillow falls over*
"Oh no, this doesn't normally happen I swear"

— dan (@oxygenplug) April 20, 2014

[sex]
HER: talk confusedly to me
ME: what
HER: oh fuck yeah

— some light crying (@somelightcrying) March 24, 2015

Sex is like pizza, if you're going to use bbq sauce you better know what the fuck you're doing

— shut up, mike (@shutupmikeginn) December 26, 2013

sex is cool but have u ever had garlic bread

— pakalu papito (@pakalupapito) February 28, 2015

[trying not to think about Sonic The Hedgehog during sex]

Her: faster! faster!

Me: oh god no

— Cool Eric (@OBiiieeee) October 23, 2014

*in the middle of sex
"Go deeper"
Okay
*pulls out*
*sits in a chair and sips coffee*
*opens poetry book*
Two roads diverged in a wood and I-

— Cocaine Cola (@SatansTongue) February 5, 2014

woops did i leave both of my bowling trophies in my hands during sex again that's embarrassing

— chuuch (@ch000ch) September 1, 2014

Just once I'd like to see a movie sex scene be accurate.

You know, him having a hard time getting her off then giving up.

— The Eh Factor (@AngelaEhh) August 8, 2014

My favorite sex position? Boy there's so many to choose from. Ha Ha. *starts sweating* I'd have to pick, um, reverse...shortstop? I gotta go

— Matt Shirley (@mattsurely) January 5, 2015

Every text conversation feels like bad sex where one person doesn't get to finish

— Aparna Nancherla (@aparnapkin) January 3, 2015

What idiot called it "leaving right after sex" and not "nuts and bolts"?

— Dr. Jimi Torosian (@jimmytorosian) December 21, 2014

Cake is better than sex because I can remember the last time I had cake.

— Rolo XG ツ (@TheRolo) May 15, 2014

*has sex with you*

*declines your FB friend request*

— DaddyJew (@DaddyJew) September 3, 2014

girl your body is a temple. but it’s the water temple from Zelda so once I’m in there I have no idea what to do

— lawblob (@lawblob) June 10, 2013

son, ur 2 now - old enuff for the talk. see, sex is a lot like a ocean - im drownin in it. lol now put ur hand up this is called a high five

— TORMBLABLY PIACKEELS (@Tormny_Pickeals) July 11, 2013

[after having sex for first time]
HER: was that not the best thing ever?
ME: *remembering when my car hit 42069 miles* its up there for sure

— Prince Pupper (@matt___nelson) May 25, 2015

[high school sex ed class]
*scoffs*
When are we ever going to use this in real life

— Hippo (@InternetHippo) January 25, 2015

Sex is a sacred, beautiful thing and you should wait to have it until you're absolutely sure you're horny.

— God (@TheTweetOfGod) May 26, 2014